As Ricky said to Lucy, we Dads "Got a lotta 'splainin to do!"
Between Tiger Woods and his fooling around and Mark McGwire with his steroid usage admissions, my kids are asking some pretty tough questions. How do you explain to an 8-year old what infidelity is? Or why a professional athlete chooses to cheat? With the latter, it's been tougher to explain his media blitz "explanation parade" than it has to explain why he wanted bigger muscles.
All this reminds me of my favorite quote about truth and self-deception. I wish I recalled the source, but the essence is "Character is who you are when no-one is watching." Don't you love the simplicity of that? Whether we choose to cheat on our spouse or flick a cigarette butt out the car window, we exercise what my son Chris refers to as "free will."
An athlete may decide to blame the era in which he played, or the pressure of performing in front of millions of fans. In the end (pun intended) he only has himself to blame for injecting performance-enhancing drugs. I have no doubt that Tiger Woods feels tremendous pressure on and off the golf course, but we've learned more about his character in the last month than from any putt he's ever made.
Whether you're in the middle of a crowded arena or alone in the car with your thoughts, you are constantly acting on your free will. The character you display is truly the measure of the man you are.
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I love that quote too about "Character is who you are when no-one is watching."
ReplyDeleteNews of Tiger Woods' alleged affairs is everywhere now. Even kids who aren't golf fans looked up to Tiger. And now they know what everyone else knows - the mistresses, the voicemails, the wife attacking his car. Heroes have a way of falling, but in today's world they fall faster, and no detail is spared.
Michael Phelps smokes marijuana - and our kids see it. Ben Johnson was caught lying about steroid use - and our kids see it. Chris Brown attacks his girlfriend, Rihanna - and our kids see it.
What messages are our kids taking away from all of this?
After all, our kids see celebrities as role models. And now that kids are immersed in the 24/7 media world at younger and younger ages, the effect of a role model gone wrong magnifies exponentially. Everywhere kids turn, they see images and hear reports about their idols. And they're often left alone to make sense of it all (or they try to figure out what's happening with their fellow school pals.)
So why not have a conversation with your kids today, and grab a teachable moment to impart your family's values. I use every natural opportunity to chat with Will and Molly about all sorts of things in the spotlight so they have a chance to form their own opinions, clarify their own values and get to hear mine.
It's about personal responsibility not finger pointing or judging but using every natural opportunity to help our kids decide who they want to be when no one is watching !