Dads and Kids: How To Harness Their Creativity and Energy

Waiting for inspiration as a writer is like a kid waiting for the first snow of winter. They peek out the window looking for a cloud, a flake, any indication that a blizzard is around the corner. You can hope, pray and perform native dances to induce the gods to visit, and deny that you have no control over the situation. Fact is, a writer controls their "block" as much as any of us control the weather. The nice thing about that first snow, and the inspiration to write, is that they both eventually come (depending on the climate) in bunches and they both leave you snowed under.

My kids are the source of so much creative energy that sometimes they lead my business astray. For awhile, I wanted to write children's books. Then I wanted to teach elementary school. A phase passed in which I wanted to base my business on speaking about kids and their Dads. Their wonder and energy is contagious; like Superman, I need to learn to harness that power for good!

The boys asked for a chain saw this past weekend. "What for?" I inquired. Turns out they "need" a tree fort, and a friend at school advised them that a chain saw is a needed accessory to any building project. "Tell you what. When you guys are adults and move out of the house, you can buy your own chain saw. Until then, no chain saw." They were crushed. For about two minutes. Then Nick's (the 10 year old) face brightened. "Chris, when we get a chain saw, we can build a house and live in a tree in the backyard!"

I'm glad they'll be moving out. And I'm glad they're planning on staying close to home.

Fight writer's block, or any creative block, by diving in and seeing where your journey takes you. "Control" isn't nearly as important as we adults make it out to be. Sometimes, you just need the right tools, an optimistic outlook, and a tree to build your dreams in.

Dad - The New "Satan"?

Eight-year old Chris called me "Satan" the other day. It's hard to interpret that for any audience, but my sense is that he believed at the moment that the Devil and me were pretty much interchangable. My "sin" as far as I can ascertain, is that I wouldn't let him (Chris, not the Devil) wwatch YouTube on the computer past 9pm.

Being a parent is like riding a rollercoaster. One minute you're the shining star of your child's life, the next minute you're Mussolini, only without the captive audience. My wife Terry has a good approach to the changing fortunes of parenting, never getting too high or too low. I wish I could adopt that stance for myself, but when Chris lashed out I took his words to bed with me and felt like a real failure as a father.

What saved me was remembering some of the hateful things that I said, or imagined I said, to my own father. The world of a child is centered on self, and that world revolves around their wants and needs. Not having computer time in 2010 is a lot like being called in off the playground while the sun is still out in 1971. The level of technology changes, but not the perspective of the child.

As I approach fifty, it's striking how much I value contact with my folks. Perhaps as we learn to cope with their imperfections, they teach us how to cope with our own. As parents, we're no angels, but we're certainly not satan either.