Just Joking Around

We hosted one of Chris' friends for a sleep-over recently. One of the beauties (and curses) of winter break is that every day becomes a Saturday night. "John" arrived at about 6:30pm, with pizza and cherry pie fueling the pre-Tween festivities. Without my darling wife Terry here (off on a trip to her folks' in New Mexico) I was left to fend for myself. So I did what any well-adjusted parent would do. I locked myself in the bedroom and watched a Humphrey Bogart movie.

My take on sleep-overs is that unless there is blood seeping under a door, or screams in the middle of the night, the kids can take care of themselves. After a peaceful night, I fixed chocolate chip pancakes for the boys and John's dad arrived (on a white stallion if I'm not mistaken) around 10:30am and we sent them on their way.

What I've realized lately is that as complex as toys and video games can be, my sons can be amused and enthralled by the simplest things. A conversation about bodily functions can lead to non-stop giggles for an hour. A game of "Go Fish" makes us all giddy. Knock-knock jokes with non-sensical punch lines reach from the early morning into the night.

One difference between the current generation of parents and parents of the past, is that today we seem to want to plan every excursion, or fill every minutes of our kids' time with swim and guitar lessons. Scheduling in un-structured time to enjoy each other's company might help our children understand that the simplest pleasures lead to the most lasting rewards.

I Never Had a Christmas Tree

Okay, so technically that's not true. Despite our Jewish roots, I do recall badgering my Mom and Dad into buying a Christmas tree one year. This was probably 1967 or 1968, somewhere in that turbulent decade (I blame all of my pre-teen idiosyncracies on the Summer of Love). Growing up in a predominantly Christian city, with holiday advertising and media all around, it was frankly hard to understand why we should be any different than the families of all my friends.

One of things I'm proudest of as a father is that my kids are growing up with a strong sense of who they are. My wife is Mexican/Catholic, I am Jewish/French/Polish/German/Russian. Our two sons know that they represent a melding of cultures and beliefs. I'm amazed at how easily they slip from culture to culture. One moment we're lighting Hannukah candles, the next we're sitting in church as communion is taken. I've been the beneficiary of many lectures from the booster seats in the back of the car on God and spirituality, each one delivered with the passion of true faith.

How we teach our children to be proud of their heritage is paramount to how they define themselves. Where previous generations of parents may have found subjects like this "taboo" or too "complicated" to talk about, 21st century parents have the opportunity to challenge kids intellectually. The more I discuss real-life issues with my sons, whether it's politics or the dalliances of Tiger Woods, the more I realize that my kids are growing up fully capable of making decisions about values for themselves.

Since we embrace all the cultures of our family heritage, we celebrate both Hannukah and Christmas. It's nice to have a tree again!